Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
