is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
