we have officially mastered the walk of shame
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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