Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
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Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
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I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
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