His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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