This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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