We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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