There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I accidentally burped into my bong.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
