im holly from the hills drunk
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
