is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
