Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
