Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
