my mouth tastes like poor choices
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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