apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
