using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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