so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize