Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
So squirting runs in the family.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize