there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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