It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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