Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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