Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
