her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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