Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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