handjob tips. give me some.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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