last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
