I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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