the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
