with your own penis?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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