Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
