dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize