That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
