it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Just invented taco cereal.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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