A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
