sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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