So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
