I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
