grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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