Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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