Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
