I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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