people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
soo... how was my night?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
