end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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