omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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