i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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