google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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