A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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