i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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