CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
