is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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