I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize