dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
no more duck duck goose at the bar
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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