I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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