i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
