i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
