I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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