Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
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