worst night to have a conscience
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
soo... how was my night?
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